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Thoughtful days...

My mind is playing tricks...brimming with so many thoughts, I thought I will write something...its more than an hour...am just sitting with laptop ....looking down the balcony....thinking...wanting to write something...so many things...but could not write anything...is it beckoning to something?...I hope not, I am too control freak to expect some surprising element in life right now...is it beckoning to something?...I hope yes, I love to be challenged and make sense of chaos and complexities of lives...

This has been cooking for last 3 months and has started to surface now more clearly than it did then...Am I expecting some answers? Then what are the questions first of all? There are no answers to what we do in life...we only have justifications of our actions...excuses, reasons to cover our deeds in the past and present...we never actually have the answers...and if you think deep...we never actually know the questions...

Is it the urge to do more and more things in lives? Is it the constant and conscious efforts to keep stretching a self? Is it something to do with an ever going effort to know one self? Is it the tussle between inner self and the facade to come to harmony? Is it to break all the controls implied by various dimensions today and actually do what one wants and finding impossible to do so , getting fatigued ...Is it the desire to keep winning? Is it the desire to make up for all the losses- people, time, opportunities?...Is it waiting to hear the voice which I have waiting to hear...

Are these the questions? If yes...I shall await the answers |

Music: Coming back to life - Pink Floyd
Ambiance: Night ...with BPO people going home and me just looking at the empty road
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