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Comfortably chaotic

Time: 1:30 in night: Me to myself: Dude! Sleep!!Its 6 days you have slept well.
Time: 1:45 in night: Myself to me: Enough!

Open the laptop and start surfing with song going on.....there is some lingering chaos going on in mind....I try to cull it by looking at some people profiles and blogs...brings back lot of memories...old acquaintances ... yesterday's losers and today's achievers ....makes me feel good for them...people with pets pictures...people with New York skyline in background (And the person did not even know if Tokyo is in USA or Australia) makes me laugh .....some people in interesting funnel of life struggling to come back to life...

Me? Yeah yeah....lots of expectations....burning candle of life from both sides....feeling good for the presence of some people in life....think of cute face of the baby....but then why chaos?....I know why? My problem is I understand everything. Everything from every perspective. Every angular or shady perspective but I do that.

Likewise, I understand what is making me not sleep for days now....and my problem is I know what I should do....I think its even more chaotic when you know all the questions and all the answers as does not leave you with lot options....

And I think chaos is good. Keeps me on my toes. Keeps me driving hard. Keeps me pushing to do better than last. Keeps reminding of the days when I was standing up to the occasions of life. Keeps me demanding more from life. Keeps me look out for fresh perspective. And I know chaos will take me where I want to be and then I will sleep. Sleep.

Scene: Looking at the blank road down my balcony , looking at vehicles passing by and wondering if I am only one awake?

Song: Losing my religion.

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